Disclaimer: No
Girls were harmed in the writing of this story as none was deemed important to
be a character.
His Story as History: A Metafictional attempt at
writing a Story concerning Kashmir
First line
should always be gripping – that’s the rule as they say.
Now that we are somehow
out of its grip so without wasting precious time, let’s start our story.
Frankly, let me read it to you. Please. I insist. Although I am not at all good
at reading something to someone but let me at least try. Thanks. Thanks.
Well, the basic idea
is to write a metafictional story with Kashmir at its center or in the suburbs.
Nothing else. A story about a…… (Well no suspense there) obviously about a boy and
not a girl or a woman who is trying hard to write answer to a question about
Kashmiri history. Nothing else. Hah! Not that the story will help in bringing vigor
to the renaissance that has already crept into our literature but only for the
fact that nowadays when you could publish almost anything in the numberless
newspapers and magazines how would it hurt me and my conscience to write
something that has not been tried yet in our literature (at least let me think
that way so that I could happily write it). There is thus clearly a bit of
selfish interest in writing this. But then again these days who writes for the
sake of writing only. To which you could say quote well Journalists do unquote.
But that’s a different problem altogether particularly keeping in view the
present Kashmiri literature. Now, don’t make an issue out of it. Otherwise,
next time you would read a banner saying Journalism and Literature: An
International Seminar on Kashmiri Literature (High Tea and Wazwan available)
waving with pride somewhere within the university premises. Let’s leave it
there for now.
Mubashir Karim,
shivering with cold, Roll no. 2014 is in the middle of writing his history
paper. The question he is trying hard to answer is why Zain-ul-Abidin was one of
the finest rulers of Kashmir. However, in the middle of the answer he has completely
forgotten why.
O! Sorry first
the setting.
Setting is
important than character in contemporary Kashmiri literature. Somehow, the
geopolitical problems of our region have seeped too down the throat of our
memories to keep our literature ‘space free’. Well, the character is sitting on
the last bench of this huge room where a poorly lit bukhari in one paltry corner is trying hard with its unusual tricks
to show the boys around her that she is nothing but hot. The building is called
the New Block. Its newness can be calculated from the fact that it was
inaugurated by the present fictional CM’s fictional grandfather. That’s
probably why the present fictional CM never took interest in inaugurating
anything new in our college. It would have been a matter of huge linguistic
problem for the authorities. I am deliberately writing fictional CM and
fictional grandfather so that no body confuses it with the actual CM and his
actual grandfather. I don’t want to put myself in any trouble over this petty piece.
Not that in Kashmir, literature is taken too seriously that it will pose
problems for real people out there in the valley, but still a precaution. Now,
coming back to the story. The problem was precisely this: What would a building
inaugurated in the 2000s be called if the building inaugurated in the 1970s is
called a New Block. So that’s that.
Now our
character has forgotten ‘the answer to the history’ he had rote memorized
yesterday from a cheap guide he had bought from Lal Chowk bookseller. To add to
the narrative, this was the exact effect of the magic pill he had taken before
the exams – the one he got from Amira Kadal Bridge while it was still raining. Although,
it was not his fault. So what, he was gullible? Actually somebody had advised
him that In order to write an immaculate history of a region it is always better
to forget what has already been written about it, quote unquote. This sentence
had somehow stuck in his head like the barrel of a gun had stuck his best friend’s
head a few months earlier when there was a military crackdown in his area. I knew
this would happen as I told you earlier. Somehow, the geopolitical problems of
our region have seeped too down the throat of our memories to keep our
literature space free or to add conflict free. Because for us Kashmiris, at
least for me, a space like Paradise would be Paradise only if that place won’t
have a history of being a princely state earlier. Pun intended. It was
precisely because of that sentence and because Mubashir was a hard working
student he had bought a magic pill from an unemployed PhD scholar who used to
sell things like these on the Amira Kadal Bridge as a sole source of his income.
He used to wrap these magic pills intentionally in newspapers. Old or new, that
was never the problem. Because, here in Kashmir old or new newspapers don’t
make much difference as both basically narrate stories of loss and grief and
torture and Shia-Sunni brawls and disappearances and what not. Back to the
story, the newspaper around which Mubashir’s magic pill was wrapped dated back
to the ancient times - precisely 19 September 1428 the headlines of which said I
quote “Bud Shah reinforces major administrative changes” unquote. However it
was later found that the reference of this headline was taken from Mohibbul
Hassan’s book Kashmir under the Sultans.
Mubashir had thought that in order to write good history or good answers to his
history question paper he should first forget what he had rote memorized. The
effect, I told you, of the sentence. But the only pre requisite of the magical pill
was that it affected the brain only when one had completely learnt the history
by heart in the first place. Now that Mubashir did not know how to answer
history back what he did for the most time of the first half was to look around.
And all he could see was his fellow classmates meticulously turning history
into answer sheets. And to add to Mubashir’s misery they were asking for more
answer sheets as if they were Zain-ul-Abidin themselves. Hey, write your own
paper, quote unquote yelled one of the examiners who was stuck to the poorly
lit bukhari as if he was the winter himself.
At this critical
point, not knowing what to do, the Mubashir, from the story Roll no. 2014 sees
me, the Mubashir trying hard to write this metafictional story. Seeing me
writing something, he requests me, to write the answer to the question asked or
else to wipe out the whole question in the first place as if I was the one who
put it in the question paper. Otherwise, he would fail in the exams. Sharing
mutual sympathies with my second self from the story and not to let him fail in
the exams for I was once a hard working history student too ready to do
anything to write it well. I stop writing the whole piece. The exam concludes. The
question is, as requested, wiped out. The Magic pill has worked. (Moreover,
frankly speaking to add more words to the story, I too did not know the answer
to the question asked in the question paper. I did not tell him that but
instead posed as if everything was under control. That’s why I stopped writing
the whole piece).
Well, thanks for
listening to the story.
If you found it
boring, difficult to understand etc. don’t be bothered. There are many other
stories to be read out there. However, if you found it interesting. Thanks.
Thanks. To find it interesting! Well, that’s an overstatement for a piece like this.
But, if you found it interesting, don’t hesitate or overthink. I will then
definitely be praised by the “Highbrow club of the pseudo-intellectuals’
founded recently in our valley. So that problem is solved.
For further
information however feel free to
Call or email
Mubashir Karim
9711231896
mubashirr.karim@gmail.com
Now, whenever a
person googles metafiction and Kashmir, this story will definitely pop up. I am
so happy! Selfishness always pays. These days, most of the times it pays in writing.
Thanks again.
Oh! My mistake,
the idea of giving a name to the examiner came late to me. That’s why in the
end.
Mubashir, from
the story obviously, later found that the examiner who had yelled at him was
none other than Haji Khan - Zain-ul-Abidin’s son. Yes, one of the sons who had
rebelled against his father.
Thanks.
Discalimer 2: Because I didn’t know any of them. All the historical details have been deliberately taken from Wikipedia. Ya, Whatever!
